I’ve always thought
that once something becomes an addiction,
it’s better to step away from it.
Whatever it is.
Lately, I think I might be addicted
to three things.
-Watching videos on my phone.
-Caffeine.
-Carbohydrates.
When I wake up,
I start playing videos
without even thinking.
After a meal,
I almost automatically think about coffee.
Even when I’m not hungry,
carbohydrates circle around in my head.
I told myself I should cut all three out.
But I learned that breaking an addiction
takes more willpower than I expected.
Pulling something out of my mind
when it keeps coming back
is harder than it sounds.
Two things seem to help.
One is placing myself in a busy environment—
especially when I’m around other people.
The other is saying it out loud
to my own brain:
“You don’t need this right now.”
I’m not free from them yet.
But at least
I’m no longer following them
without noticing.